Not my mirror, yet my problem

It’s been ages since I wrote anything, absolutely ANYTHING. I was starting to worry about my verbal abilities for some time. I guess I was too pre-occupied with what has been going on in my head and on the grounds. Paying attention (excessive attention) to making swift, efficient, and solid decisions and perfecting the process of it distracted my heavily burdened mind from reflecting on the issues I face and trying to humor the beauty of their essence and eventually gently, and with crafted simplicity dissect the philosophy of such a problem and thus obtain a master-level-crafted solution. Too much thinking and too little realization, too much education and too little learning, but the worst of all is having too many thoughts, yet … too little ideas. Time is man’s greatest enemy; however one’s eyes are their worst enemy. Time will outrun you, it will not miss a chance to leave you in your sleep and sprint past your anchored lingering dreams, but time will NEVER give you away … but your eyes will.

Let us not talk about the treason eyes can commit and focus on another parallel and equally important function of the eyes; mirroring. Brown, Hazel, Green, Blue, or undetermined there are sometimes where the color of the eyes is as meaningless as the life they see, and as irrelevant as the thoughts that hover behind them. Eyes may betray but they never lie, they may look gentle but the reality they usually reflect is far from that, but in order to understand what they are trying to say you need to speak their language and master their dialect. Being an unusual creation in a usually unfathomable world the language of the eyes can best be described as silence. Yes, silence is a language by itself. In fact, the most important and the most complex language to learn is silence, for before words ever existed … silence once prevailed. Silence is timeless and is always relevant, you cannot misspell its syllables but you may misinterpret them because of course you haven’t learned it right. Silence is universal and is never mutually exclusive, you may not be able to hear someone when others are talking and suddenly all channels of communication are clogged if more than one mouth utters any words, but no matter how many eyes are gazing wide open showering the scenery with statements waiting to be fished and read, no hindering of reception will be encountered.

Words are useless, am sure even these very words are, no matter how gazed out your eyes are … no interruption to the verbal currents will occur. Since eyes never lie, we can be sure that whatever comes from the barer of these eyes is an absolute truth a reflection of a processed notion captured through the pupils, processed by the brain and presented via the mysterious language of silence with every line, circle and ellipse forming those eyes … especially those blue glassy yet flamboyant eyes. Seems cool so far but here is the catch, if our pupil’s capture, and our eyes reflect and mostly the logical analysis and processing of these notions and images is done primarily by the brain imagine just for a second if our brains fail to do so, because of course the processing phase is taken over by the minds greatest rival … the heart. BOY I can tell you it’s not ok, although it seems heavenly when read and astrologically phenomenal when realized, if and only if read properly and realized humbly.

Someone once told me that the only way to make someone fully understands is by confusing them, now that’s a fact that I fully acknowledge and simultaneously resent. Confusion is a master, that I gratefully thank for countless lessons in life but I more of prefer it at the early stages of understanding and NOT having it generously pitching in 2 months after I have made a complete and comprehensive understanding of the world I live in and made peace with my struggles and conquered some of my demons or declared truce with others. Now let’s put all these things together in a clearer way suitable for a 3^rd grader. If the best way to understand is through confusion, and confusion comes from without to create itself from within, and in order to comprehend you need to embrace this confusion and let it lead you to the treasure under the huge X sign, but not all treasures are meant to be found only once, many treasures are meant to be seen and then dug back into their resting place. I have found a treasure, and no I am not buying you a new x-box 360 nor am I going to take you on a trip to the Bahamas because my treasure was that little action hero box that you once put all your memories in before you left to high school and ran back to every time life slapped you on the face, picking up old memories and experiences and reminding yourself that life has been generous enough to give us at the time a rope to which we today have tied a knot at its end and hung on. My treasure is that box you have taken along your “cool” stuff when you left home to college and forgot about while being all busy making new friends and partying hard. I have found two “little pieces of heaven” separate yet complete each other, and a whole lot of confusion rose when the two met. Some say heaven can only be found in our hearts, and whatever lives in our hearts is sure to over-look this God forsaken world through our eyes. I am very thankful, although am not sure to who or to what I should be, for all the beautiful sets of eyes through which I saw my city and our lives through that captured our reality, mixed them with their understanding of our simple dreams and processed them with their eager minds and reflected them beautifully through their words and more importantly their silence? Or to the only two blue eyes that never ceased to shoot at mine with gushes of indecipherable yet heavenly silent conversations that loudly echoed in my mind and heart. I guess the best way to solve this dilemma is by parallel processing, where the mind does what it can do, and heart does what it does best … confuse you. Perhaps, those mirrors were not mine, but I am sure that whatever they reflected were my problems, and for that … I am forever grateful. THANK YOU.

To be continued …